Reporters even saw a teary-eyed Governor Kemp, who ran and
knelt at the feet of this raucous and bombastic bird.
In both chambers of the Georgia legislature, the
cackling bird was greeted as a conquering hero. Both men and
women swooned as ol’ Jim Crow passed by them and said to the
rapturous crowd of white Republicans, “Don’t worry, I am
here and everything will be alright!”
Jim Crow assessed the crowd and took his invited seat
in the chair of the speaker of the House and then motioned
for quiet with his two large wings still quietly moving up
“This is an historic day for Georgia! Finally, I have
found a place to call home again after so many, many of
being banned by those pesky Northern
carpetbaggers. When I found out that my ace flying buddy,
Donald Trump, got the boot here in Georgia, I was devastated
beyond belief for I thought for sure that Georgia would
always be my home with its long and proud history of
suppressing the vote of colored people.”
“I simply assumed that the good white people of this
fair state would do the right and honorable thing and make
sure that the Negro vote would be
properly ‘managed’ but somehow, things got snick snarled and
those people just would not be still.”
“My allies, the White Citizens Council and the KKK and
their buddies in the judicial system and law enforcement,
simply fell down on the job; and now look what you got! A
Jew and a Black being your United States Senators!
“Georgia how did you let this outrage happen?”
“Don’t you know what will happen if these hordes of nappy
headed voters are allowed to vote? There goes your democracy
and the next thing you will know is that you will have the
March of the Butterscotch Babies taking over everything! Is
this what you want?”
At this, the assembled crowd, yells in unison as one
voice, “No, not now, not ever!”
Jim Crow, now looking more emboldened than ever,
glances over the proposed voter suppression legislation that
is up for a vote and nods his head in approval at its many
provisions that will either slow down or stop the Negro from
voting in large numbers.
Jim Crow, now having the enthralled audience in his
grasp, goes on to say, “In the good ol’ days, we knew how to
take care of our coloreds and when they got out of their
place, we knew what to do. This bill you are about to pass
is a good start in that direction!
“ I can tell you that I just flew in from Arizona,
Mississippi, Alabama, Wisconsin and Arkansas and they are
having the same problems with their black and brown people.
“Those states, and others, are looking to you Georgia
to set the example and rein in these out-of-control, colored
voters. Our sacred way of life is in dire jeopardy if we
cannot control who votes.
“Once you let the masses into the voting booths, you
lose! It is as simple as that. Why do you think we had to
lynch so many black people back in the day?
The major reason is that they got uppity and wanted to act
white and vote!
“Unless you control the vote, you control nothing!
Voting is power and if you give the Negro the vote, the next
thing is that he wants to marry your daughter and live next
door to you.
“You got to stop that madness by stopping the vote! Are
you with me?”
At this point, the crowd turns delirious and drowns out
the voices of the few protesting Black legislators who are
To the delight of the White audience, Jim Crow then
produces a tape recording of Donald Trump saying, “To all of
you good people in Georgia, As you know the election was
stolen from us and we need to fight to get it back.
This legislation is a way to fight back. So, do what my
buddy Jim Crow tells you what to do so we can make sure in
the next election, those people do not overrun us and enact
their socialist agenda and allow hordes of Mexicans to
travel by car caravans to your great state and bloat your
governmental services. Georgia for Georgians!”
At this exhortation, the crowd went delirious with some
women fainting and many men openly crying tears of joy.
Jim Crow saw the reaction of the crowd, smiled and
started for the door because, before the day was over, he
was scheduled for flyover stops in Pennsylvania, Michigan
As he gave one last look back at the appreciative
crowd before he took flight, Jim Crow wiped a tear from his
eye and was wistful for the good ol’ days when colored
people knew their place and White folks knew how to handle
Contact Lafe Tolliver at email@example.com