Simple enough, yes? And then, let us call what they do,
Now, we need to label what happens when a Briber and a
Bribee meet in a scheme.
The first thing is, “what is the pitch?” That is, what
is being offered in exchange for a favor, muscle, influence
or, sometimes, just a diversion so that others are not wise
to what is really going on.
Now, you gotta understand the makeup of a Briber and it is
usually defined in the following categories:
(1) Swagger: How a Bribee acts when he thinks that he can
con you into giving him something of worth or value. Oh, he
smiles and cajoles you and lets you believe that he’s got
lightning in a bottle and for the price of $$$, it can be
The Bribee must convince you that he or she is an
authoritative figure and that your submission to that power
is critical if the Bribee is to pull off this caper. At
times, tough talk is needed to convince you that no bridge
is to far for him to cross if that is what it takes to
convince you that he can pull off the scam.
He talks in convincing tones of knowing what is what
and he conflates his importance as if he were the only
person that you need to speak with.
(2) Settings: The Bribee needs to impress you with his
wealth or status, so he normally wines and dines you to
create the impression that he has it all together and you
too can share in part of the illusion that you are dealing
with the top dog who can make things happen!
(3) Smokescreens: In their arsenal of deceit and deception,
some Bribees go to great lengths to project the aura that
they are the real McCoys and if that takes fake luxurious
settings or fabulous meals at high class restaurants, so be
it. The plan is to have you breathe in their spiels that
they is able to produce or deliver the votes or the goods!
(4) Now, for the Briber, it is important that he believes
the “game” or at least lies and plays the part of doing
small steps to show that he is willing to go all the way and
consummate the deal.
Once the Bribee sees that the Briber is gullible to take the
bait and be reeled in, the Bribee knows that the “ask” or
what he or she wants from the Briber, is almost a guarantee!
(5) The Bribee must give the Briber the feeling that his
confidence in the Bribee is not mistaken and that the Bribee
can deliver and deliver on time. Of course, the Bribee will
convince the Briber that all is well and what is being
conducted is not illegal but rather, “this is how business
is done, and no one will know”.
Now the Bribee knows that there are rules of the trade
for this scheming game and he must be a perfectionist in
executing those rules or the Briber will smell the offal and
will quickly back out.
Rule One: When exchanging money, do not use napkins or
magazines or newspapers! When you meet for the all-important
money exchange, look bored and weary and use a box of
chocolates as your cover. Laugh out loud when you make the
exchange so anyone nearby will record it as a friendly
cordial meeting and not a bribe happening under their nose!
Rule Two: When at a restaurant, sit in a dark corner and
arrive before the Briber so that you can control the seating
arrangements which means that you sit facing the front door
so you can make sure that the Briber arrives by himself or
If someone is with the Briber whom you do not
recognize, cough as if you have something stuck in your
throat and go to the restroom, gagging as you go…and then
promptly find an exit!
Rule Three: If the Briber offers cash, do not reach for it”!
Rather ask him to wire the funds to the special account you
set up and look away while the Briber places the cash back
in his vest pocket. Breathe a sigh of relief and only then
order the shrimp cocktail with a glass of Pinot Grigio.
Rule Four: If all else fails and you are busted by the
authorities, play calm and repeatedly tell the FEDS that you
had no idea that the Briber was a corrupt person and that
you are outraged that anyone would think that you would
engage in such reprehensible conduct!
Rule Five: If that ploy does not work and you are indicted
for conduct unbecoming your position of public trust or
authority, simply call me and I can arrange for you to wire
me, as attorney fees, the titles to your cars, your house,
the balance in your 401k plan and what savings you have and
also a signed promissory note that I will fill in!
Is this a deal or what!
Contact Lafe Tolliver at firstname.lastname@example.org