|
Simply say that you
were the unwittingly victim of the green monster from the
Deep State, profusely apologize and then go on talk radio to
harangue your opponents.
Conspiracy theories
can, like the living dead, move around scaring the
heebie-jeebies out of inquiring people since it is nigh
impossible to put a silver stake in its heart and end its
cruel existence.
Conspiracy theories
can take on the afterlife of a Three Card Monte ruse in that
once you think you have figured where the pea or marble
is…voila! It reappears in another virulent life form and
attracts more of those who have grave difficulty separating
wheat from the chaff.
So, with the above
caveats in mind, below are my top conspiracy theories. See
if they can develop legs and walk and then run to the
nearest media outlet.
ONE: Donald Trump spent
several months in a mental hospital while he was away at
military boarding school. The pressure of his demanding
parents caused him to have a nervous breakdown and he is
left with a permanent mental and emotional scar of never
being good enough to find favor with his demanding father.
TWO: Vladimir Putin, the
ostensible puppet master of Donald Trump, has a vast library
of graphic tapes, in living color, of Donald Trump in Moscow
cavorting with ladies of the night and he is doing so in
blackface!
THREE: Donald Trump was
cured of his gambling habit when he lost his New Jersey
casinos due to uncovered bets that he made with the Mafia
bosses in NYC. Those bosses have connections in Moscow, and
they sold Donald to Putin in exchange for payment of billion
of dollars to cover those bad debts. The money flowed
through Deutsch Bank in Germany.
FOUR: The main rabid GOP
lapdogs for Donald Trump are acting like complete fools in
regard to not even considering the strong factual evidence
against Trump because Trump has promised them high ranking
positions in his new cabinet once he wins the election in
2020.
From what I heard, it
goes like this: Nunes for HUD, Jim Jordan for Attorney
General, Mark Meadows for UN Ambassador, John Kennedy for
Treasury, Mitch McConnell for the Supreme Court, Lindsey
Graham for Secretary of Defense, Jared Kushner for Chief of
Staff and Collins as head of the FBI.
FIVE: If Trump gets two
more supreme court picks, he plans to
do the following: have a
moratorium on all immigration for the next four years with
the exception for the following countries:
Sweden, Norway, Finland,
Ireland, Scotland, Germany, Wales, Poland and the former
Czech Republic.
SIX: Trump plans to
abolish all historically black colleges and universities as
being anti-white and use those vacant facilities for senior
citizens housing.
SEVEN: All future illegal
immigrants will be microchipped in their upper forearm so
they can be tracked 24/7. Google has a bid in for this
multi-billion-dollar contract along with Amazon and Cisco
Systems. The chip is capable of sending a painful electronic
buzz to their brain if they fail to report every 90 days to
their immigration supervisor.
EIGHT: Trump will use the
infamous FISA courts to obtain permission to eavesdrop on
both the Obamas and the Clintons because of his paranoid
belief that they are forming an underground army of
dissidents to overthrow his second term.
NINE: Trump will revoke
the national holiday designation of Martin Luther King Jr.
and no longer call February, Black History Month, but rather
culture diversity month.
Well, there you have it.
The best nine conspiracy theories that you will ever come
across. So, come on, spread them around and talk them up and
become an influence peddler!
Everyone loves a good
conspiracy tale!
Contact Lafe Tolliver at
tolliver@juno.com |
