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DAY TWO:
President Donald Trump has called an emergency meeting of
his Cabinet with a follow up meeting with his Director
National Intelligence (DNI) and according to the New York
Times, told them the following:
“It has come to the attention of my Director of National
Intelligence that many, many voting irregularities have been
reported in Wisconsin, Ohio, Michigan, Florida and
Pennsylvania. Voting registrars are reporting that their
vote tabulations and even the voting machines have been
electronically tampered with and those five states are
unable to give an accurate and final tabulation of the vote
count.
“Wikileaks (‘I love Wikileaks!’) is reporting alleged
rampant voter misconduct in the inner cities of Baltimore,
Chicago, Miami, Phoenix, Cleveland, Philadelphia and who
knows what other cities.
“Republican voters in Texas, Nevada and South Carolina are
up in arms because their votes are disappearing from the
final tallies and they are not being allowed to recast their
votes!
Fox News has reporters on the ground in NYC, Atlanta,
Milwaukee and Detroit and they are seeing chaos outside of
many inner-city polling stations.
“It is being reported that immigrants without identification
cards by the thousands are being allowed to vote because
they have threatened the voting registrars at stations
across our southern border!
“The Border Patrol is undermanned to address all the calls
about voter security and the Democrats are not willing to
take up emergency funding so we can hold back this wave of
criminals that are infesting our border states!”
DAY THREE:
“After further top-secret meetings with our intelligence
agencies and the heads of the National Guard of all the
states, I will address the nation tomorrow at prime time! I
alone can fix this because I am an extremely stable genius!”
DAY FOUR:
“I am receiving alarming reports that people are in the
streets demanding answers to what happened to their vote. I
have instructed the head of Homeland Security to issue
televised statements of the steps that we are taking to
correct this voter imbalance and find out who is behind
someone trying to tamper with our elections! I will address
the nation not today but tomorrow. I have spoken with Putin
about any Russian interference and he strongly denies any
involvement and I believe him.”
DAY FIVE:
“I am now receiving disturbing reports that both state and
local elections have been tampered with and state and local
officials are unable to pinpoint the exact nature of the
attacks; and are not able to reconstruct the voter rolls so
as to notify people that they may need to re vote again. I
will address the nation tomorrow on these vital topics. MAKE
AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!”
DAY SIX:
I have reached out to House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and the
rest of the Democrats and socialists in Congress asking for
emergency funding to investigate the attacks on our
elections and to date we have simply learned that parties of
unknown origins have been using cyber warfare to place bots
in our voting machines that can change vote counts and when
they are finished, they, on cue, self-destroy and leave no
trace of their originations. I will address the nation
tomorrow on these important topics.”
DAY SEVEN:
“I been informed by my Treasury Secretary and Commerce
Secretary that local governments are not spending funds
because they do not know which political party has the right
or the authority to continue in power and thus pass valid
legislation and to spend taxpayer monies! My advice is for
everyone to wait until we get more definite news of what
just transpired. If you hear reports of the Russians, the
Iranians or North Korea committing these acts, do not
believe it…it is FAKE NEWS. Believe only what you hear from
me!”
DAY EIGHT (presidential address to the nation):
“My fellow Americans. The past few days have been very
troubling to say the least. Our democracy has been attacked
by unknown persons and we have not been able to certify our
cherished election results. I have repeatedly asked the
Democrats, who are still engaged in the Russian Hoax, to
calm down and pass legislation to fund full investigations
into what has transpired.
They insist that Russian and Putin are behind these attacks.
I spoke to Putin and he, in the strongest of terms, denied
such involvement and since his denial was so strong, I
believe him! My Director of National Intelligence has
indicated that it will take at least four to six months to
unravel what just transpired.
As it now stands any verifiable vote tallies for
Congressional elections and the office of the Presidency are
in shambles; I will do the following to restore calm and law
and order:
EXECUTIVE ORDER 351: That, I Donald J. Trump, as President
of these United States do hereby declare a national
emergency commencing on today’s date and ending six months
from now and the following shall be enforced until further
notice:
THAT, I declare null and void the recent national elections
for Congress and the Office of the President due to
allegations of rampant election fraud and misconduct by
unknown actors.
THAT, I extend the tenure of my office of the presidency for
an additional six months or until this crisis is
satisfactory resolved.
THAT, I hereby deputize the National Guard of all 50 states
to restore law and order and they are to be under my direct
supervision or that of the Department of Homeland Security.
THAT, I direct Congress to pass emergency financial
legislation to fund an investigation of what happened to our
election results and I appoint Mitch McConnell to head up
that investigation and he is to report back to me within six
months or as more time as he deems is necessary.
THAT, I appoint my Attorney General, William Barr, to do any
and all needed and necessary acts to effectuate the above
provisions and he is to have plenary powers to accomplish
these goals in an expedient manner. I further suspend all
laws of habeas corpus and public demonstrations of more than
three persons until this national emergency is resolved.
Signed,
Donald J. Trump, President
Note: minutes after this executive order is passed at a
secret location in Camp David, police sirens are wailing in
the background and those who are seen as detractors from
this executive order are being picked up for questioning of
their involvement in this election debacle.
And, in Moscow, Putin watches all of this from his CNN
hookup, smiles, takes another sip of chilled Champagne and
quietly utters, “Donald, you are the best useful idiot
ever!”
Contact Lafe Tolliver at
tolliver@juno.com
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