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The Swami Sez:

By Lafe Tolliver, Esq
Guest Column

     As many of you know, in past columns I have taken on the serious task of being a political swami and predicting the possible scenarios of politicians and their shenanigans.

     Being a swami is a thankless task because some people will laud you and some will vilify you because what you predict either furthers their pet agendas or it leaves them to open public ridicule.

     Not known to the general public is that being a swami is a task of tremendous stress and emotional angst. I do not wear the swami turban on a whim but, when I do, I realize that people expect me to be nigh 100 percent right in my calls.

Lafe Tolliver, Esq

     I cannot tell you the dozens of times that after I have worn the swami when my outpourings of predictions were so psychologically consuming that I have had to retreat to the comfort of my bed in order to maintain my physical strength.

     During those draining times, my only sustenance was beef broth, rye bread and weak decaf green tea. But, I soldiered on knowing that my readers were desperately counting on me to provide them with some succor during perilous times; and I will continue to do so even if it means risking my very health!

     Considering the recent political slap that the voters gave to Herr Trump and his minions and the furor that he is causing by his infantile refusal to concede the election and allow Joe Biden to proceed to a smooth transition, I now make the following predictions!

ONE:  Herr Trump, knowing that he has strangled the very life out of the now feckless GOP party and has turned it into a self- serving cult of cowering sheep and moon-howling Fox News commentators, will plunder his base for millions of dollars so he can pay off mounting legal fees and put some bucks aside to do battle with the New York Attorney General over a myriad of civil and criminal charges.

TWO: Herr Trump will assess a list of people that he plans to pardon including names of political hacks and grifters that will simply outrage the American public but will inure him to his base because, “He stuck it to the man!”

Of course, Herr Trump will pardon himself, his family, loyal in-laws and will throw out pardons, like confetti, at Flynn, Stone, Giuliani, Dennis the Menace, Betty Boop (for breaking so many hearts) and the Wizard of Oz (for faking out the scarecrow, the lion and the Tin Man with his power con).

THREE:  Herr Trump will finish gutting so many federal agencies and departments on his way out of the White House, so that when Joe Biden comes into power, he will have a nigh Herculean job of restoring the federal government from such a spiteful blight.

FOUR:  Herr Trump will continue to run the mind-bending con that he will run for the White House in 2024 but nothing can be further from the truth other than panicking Mike Pence and other 2024 contenders because they know that if he so declares, his vapid base will flood him with cash to make it happen.

News Flash!!: One cannot run for the presidency from a jail cell, so that threat is dead on arrival. Once Trump leaves office, he will face a slurry of lawsuits, some criminal, that hopefully will eventually land him a prison cell next to a smiling, “Bubba.”

FIVE:  After Trump comes out of his self- imposed fog that he is now a certified loser and Joe Biden mopped the floor with him, Trump will stage a Revenge Tour where he will sponsor rallies simply for the sake of lashing out at his enemies, real or concocted. He needs a punching bag and whomever he thinks did not throw themselves on his sword, will be fair game.

SIX:  When the hundreds of millions of dollars in personal loans become due and payable in 2021, Trump will have to have a fire sale of his assets in the hopes of keeping his beloved Mar-A-Lago mansion safe as his eventual hideaway from public scrutiny.

SEVEN: Trump will audition for Dancing With The Stars but will be rejected because he is unable to smile for the cameras but will blame that problem on the ever present, Deep State.

EIGHT: Donald Trump, with the help of Sean Hannity, will try to buy space on Mount Rushmore so he can have his likeness chiseled into the mountain side as a lasting idol to his cult followers.

    Well, there you have it. The enormity of my predictions has left me totally exhausted and on the verge of my asking for donations so that I can fly to Thailand for rest and recovery.

So, if you can do so, please send to me in a non-traceable money order, the amount of $43.22 (includes shipping and handling) so I can recover and return to you both refreshed and invigorated!


Contact Lafe Tolliver at tolliver@juno.com



Copyright © 2019 by [The Sojourner's Truth]. All rights reserved.
Revised: 11/19/20 08:49:48 -0500.

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