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The family dynamic is how we as individuals interact
within a family unit. The family unit is unique to each of
us. Whether they be two-parent homes, single-parent homes,
adopted or foster-parent homes. We also must consider that
in today’s society, grandparents, aunts, uncles and older
siblings are now caring for children due to the child’s loss
of parents to incarceration, death, a home environment that
was unstable that caused harm for the child and even
extended separation due to military duty or other
professions that cause the parent(s) to be away from the
home.
In my practice the majority of my clients are
individuals and from time-to-time I will ask if they would
like to include their family in a session or two. A family
session supplies a lot of information on how the client’s
family interacts and gives each member a voice.
After a family session I am better able to
understand the function or the dysfunction of that family
dynamic. The experience and impression our family members
have on us is grossly underrated. All forms of abuse, all
forms of love, all forms of non-communication impact how we
will grow into healthy adulthood and begin our own
families. If we grow up in an unhealthy environment,
depending upon how resilient or strong we are, we will more
than likely follow into the next generation of the same
function or dysfunction of family.
The genogram is an exercise often given to clients and
families to chart out patterns. It is like building a
family tree and then going back as many generations to look
for things such as job field, alcoholism, education, divorce
and even health issues.
I remember the first time I completed a genogram, I
hardly had anything on my chart at all because I did not
know my own grandparents let alone have much other
information. I am the youngest of 15 siblings, some of us
have the same mother, different father and visa versa.
Take a mental health moment and check out a genogram.
You can find them online for free, or just chart your own.
Take a moment and look at your own family dynamic. Is it
satisfying, helpful, happy, dysfunctional? What is the
weight it has on you both positive and negative?
Family is a major support system. Some individuals
have no blood family and they create their own with good
friends and mentors, but we all need a support system in our
life to assist us in so many ways. If you haven’t talked to
much of your family in a while for whatever reasons,
consider mending those relationships. Our time here on
earth is short and getting a t-shirt with their picture on
it after they have died is a waste of time and money.
Take the time to extend an olive branch of hope.
People do change and often it is others who change us. To
all my family reading this, I love you!
Check out a genogram at
https://www.genopro.com/genogram/templates/
Bernadette
Graham is a Licensed Professional Counselor, National
Certified Counselor and Certified Grief Recovery Specialist.
She is in private practice and accepting
new clients. Visit www.bjgrahamcounseling.com or call
419.409.4929 to learn more about mental health counseling,
to make an appointment or to schedule a
speaking/presentation engagement.
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