I had a special bond with a foreign aide in the
capital of North Korea. He was a junior secretary to Kim
Jung Un and was responsible for the transmission of
classified documents to many western countries, including
the US.
So, you can imagine my pleasant surprise when he sent
me an official cable indicating an urgent desire to contact
me regarding some highly sensitive information regarding
letters sent to President Trump by Kim Jung Un.
However, not currently being under the cover of
diplomatic security, I was hesitant to re-engage my
colleague on any level knowing the dire danger that it could
place him in if he was discovered transmitting, overly or
covertly, any secrets that involve the henchman Kim Jung Un.
My colleague, for whom I will employ an anonymous
first name of Jsun Bo, was determined to inform me that he
needed this information to be transmitted on a Code Red
level. If you are not in foreign intelligence gathering, a
Code Red is akin to a nuclear bomb being dropped. It is that
important and, thusly, demands your attention.
So, with much trepidation, I went to a secure facility
in Omaha and using my secure password, I gained access to a
diplomatic pouch marked: Top Secret/Confidential: President
Donald Trump only.
I gingerly took the pouch, broke open the seal and made
a copy of its one letter content and returned the pouch
without notice or damage done.
I left the building, "sweating bullets" knowing that if I
was apprehended, I faced certain jail time and a complete
loss of any diplomatic status.
By the time I got to my hotel room, I closed the
curtains, bolted the front door and opened the purloined
document.
Even though President Trump recently touted on national
TV that he was in love with Kim and he received "love
letters" from Kim, I had no inkling of the depth of this
bromance.
At the risk of being confronted with a letter that I
had no right to see or read, I thought it best for national
security and based upon the love of my country to share this
"love" letter with the public. I am told that there were
letters sent, in the plural, but I believe that this letter
is the first of the string of those letters sent by Kim to
President Trump.
For security purposes, I have obviously blocked out
certain information that could cause severe heartburn for
the sender and for the recipient as to how these matters
were sent between the parties.
But believe me, the below contents of this love letter
should cause chills and spasms for any American reader.
After you read this letter, you make the decision as to
whether or not our president has compromised himself as he
did at Helsinki with Putin or as with the current ongoing
Russian investigation may soon bear out:
My Dear Donald....
It is glorious for me to share the many fond memories I
have of you and I strolling through the many vistas and
hallways in my capital palace. I felt like a flushed young
school girl escorting you around my fabulous kingdom and
showing you the many treasures that I have taken from the
Korean people in order to showcase my wonderful time as
their emperor for life.
I am seemingly unable to properly express in English the
feelings that I have for you and your considerable grasp of
foreign affairs.
Your presence and your charming smile will always capture me
with its charm and wit. Just to think of you nearby with me,
makes me grow all the more fonder for our next rendezvous.
I am blushing when I say that I am in love with you and
hopefully you have the same feelings for me. It is a love
that I am unable to explain to others who do not know what
it is to be enraptured with such a wonder of meeting you and
having you look and gaze so deeply into my eyes!
When you canceled any future war games exercises with
South Korea, my heart skipped a beat and I knew then that
this was true love in all of its power and captivation.
I recall the time at the state dinner when our hands
accidentally touched when you reached for the hot mustard to
put on your egg roll! I almost fainted from excitement to
know that an American president was so warm and effusive
towards me, but yet you were!
And who could forget the time when you got up to speak
and you placed your hand on my shoulder! I was nigh
delirious with joy and I beamed and smiled at you and you
lovingly winked back at me!
Oh...what a wink that was. I was smitten like a
foolish young maiden, giddy over her first crush and that
crush was... you!
My thoughts are always going out to you and I am
practically counting the days when we will be together
again, exchanging secret furtive glances and you giving me,
in private, classified military information. Oh, what a
thrill that was. You have no idea!
Well, I must end this letter, I have to attend to some
unpleasant duties such as executing some political prisoners
and denying food rations to the mothers of some college
dissidents.
But, you will always be warming my heart and making my
toes squirm whenever I look upon your orange countenance
when you appear on my favorite news program, Fox News!
With all my love.....
Kim Jung Un
|