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Fros, Fashions & Finds
Falling in Love with
Natural Hair
By Megan Davis
The Truth Contributor
What’s not
to love about autumn? The weather is near perfect, not too
warm or cool; not much rain and no snow. Just a crisp breeze
and a landscape that has Picasso and Van Gogh beat …
naturally, of course. With a season so invigorating, it is a
friendly reminder of how nature displays its beauty and
welcomes everyone into its embrace.
Speaking
of embracing, there’s another natural wonder to behold,
Black hair! Natural hair, more specifically, and it is being
celebrated more and more in 2018 since so many men and women
are embracing the curls and texture of non-chemically
altered hair. Falling in love with natural hair isn’t always
an automatic thing. It has had to forego generational
influences. Our mothers and their mothers and their
mothers may have lived during the time when natural hair
wasn’t accepted in society. That lack of acceptance was
passed down through generations, leaving many in fear of
what others may think about their natural hair.
If you
haven’t seen it yet, there is a new film on Netflix called
Nappily Ever After. It stars Sanaa Lathan, a black
professional ad exec with a boyfriend who is a doctor. Every
morning, she’d wake up before him to perfect her wrap, so
her hair was smooth and straight, and she would even put on
makeup before hopping back in bed and pretending she had
been there all along. All of that was before breakfast!
I don’t
know about any of you, but as Sweet Brown once said, “Ain’t
nobody got time for that.” The character went through so
many changes with her hair alone, which was heavily
influenced by her mother, who groomed her to present herself
as perfect in all ways, at all times. Every style she tried
presented a new challenge for her. Certainly, many women can
relate to her plight, because even in being perfect, there
were still flaws and insecurities.
One of the
things we often see now in social media, are style trends
that salons around the world mimic to please their clients.
With no disrespect, women may go into a shop with “Celie”
hair, seeking “Halle” results and it’s just frustrating for
the client and the stylist alike. When did this happen? How
did this happen?
Perhaps
this all came to be when people traded their mirrors for
smart device screens. Screens which showcase everything on
fleek, slayed and laid to the gods while snickering and
humiliating those who look like most people look every day.
There’s not a lot of Hoteps online these days, those are the
“woke” ones, instead, it’s the day of the viral video, meme,
or quote. Culture has gotten lost in the shuffle, self
awareness, too. Now men, women and children want to look and
be as perfect as the media icons they follow.
So where
is the love? It seems that every so often, we have to get
back to our roots. We seem to keep straying from them as we
get swept up into the newest of crazes. That includes
hairstyles, even if natural. Those with locs, want
extensions so they can feel more comfortable; those with
Afros want silk presses so their hair is more manageable;
those with braids have to feed in hair to ensure their
neatness. Curls have to be shiny and soft; straight styles
have to “last” and locs have to be perfect in order to be
happy. All these things are wonderful, but are they
realistic? Until we realize that natural hair defies gravity
and responds to weather by way of swelling, shrinking,
stretching or shriveling, we will always feel like our hair
is inadequate.
Sanaa’s
character, Violet, arrived at a point in her life that her
“perfection” lead to rejection in her relationships, both
personally and professionally and, after several failed
attempts to arrive at a happy place, she decided to let go
of just one of the things that was holding her back, her
hair.
There’s
possibly nothing more bold and simultaneously vulnerable for
a black woman than shaving her head. There isn’t anything to
conceal the shape of the head or to frame the face; no
products to enhance the hair, no chemical to alter the
texture, or pieces that can extend the length or thickness
of the hair. That nakedness reveals everything from the good
to the bad, and that is what makes going natural for some, a
very difficult decision.
But for
those who have taken the plunge into the naturalista life,
there’s always a time in that journey, that you reevaluate
your decision, wondering if it was the right thing to do or
if your employer or significant other will accept your new
look, and you question whether it was worth it at all or
not.
Falling in
love with natural hair is a lot like relationships, there
are levels to it that come in time. If you’re struggling to
love your hair, you may wish to consider some of the
following tips for encouragement.
Court
the idea. Before
going natural, many say that they have contemplated doing so
for months or maybe even years. Just like a dream husband,
they look at pictures and imagine themselves in it, smiling
and glowing and feeling sheer joy. Courting the idea also
means trying on wigs, getting a weave or other style that
mimics natural styles to preview how it would look on you.
You begin to like the idea of being natural.
Take an
interest. There’s nothing like entering into a new relationship with someone who
takes a genuine interest in you. With hair, you have to be
interested in everything that makes hair healthy, growing,
looking and feeling good. You have to be curious as to what
works best with your hair. This is an action step. If you’re
interested, you’re researching what makes it work, what to
avoid and how to maintain it.
Commitment. After
flirting with the idea of being natural and taking an
interest in what natural hair needs, you make the decision
to commit to the relationship. This means, you are now
willing to live each day with this hair, learning more about
it, nurturing it, and grooming it into styles that are
beautiful to you. Many people want commitment without the
first two steps, but it’s very difficult to commit to
something or someone that you haven’t considered or learned
anything about. Flirting with ideas is one thing, committing
to a journey together is a different level.
Embrace
the difference.
One thing about dating is that we come to appreciate the
quirks, weird tricks and overall differences our mate has.
It is even said that opposites attract. There’s nothing more
truly said to a woman who has never been natural. Because of
the historical and generational beliefs, that straight is
the way, when it pertains to hair, going natural opposes
what little girls were taught for years. If not the mothers
before them, it has been evident in visual and print media.
Natural hair itself defies gravity and does nothing that
society, Grandmama or the slave master set forth as the
standard of beauty. Embracing natural hair means accepting
that it is different and requires a completely different
practicum of care, styling and maintenance. It also means
accepting things we cannot change, like going grey, balding
or our natural texture.
Overcoming Disappointment.
We all have read love stories or have seen them play out on
screen. We have seen the picture perfect couple have life
happen and sometimes tear their relationship apart. When
disappointment occurs, and it will, many forget about the
commitment they have made, and instead of embracing the
other person’s differences, they become points of contention
and frustration. When people go natural, once a bad hair day
arrives, many are ready to throw the whole journey away. If
you go on vacation, you may expect delays, traffic pattern
changes, turbulence and even detours. But once you arrive at
your destination, the journey seems so worth it. If we look
at natural hair in this manner, falling in love with it, in
and out of season, is possible.
In this
fall season where everything around us is beautiful, it is
the hope that when a person embraces her natural hair, that
she sees the same beauty outside her window, reflected in
her own mirror.
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