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And in the other sandbox, his skillful opponent fresh
from a "Sock' em Rock' em" fight with the White House Chief
of Staff, John Kelly, the one and only (thank goodness!),
the reigning Queen of Chaos..."Omarosa!"
Note: At this time, the referee, Jeff (aka: The Keebler
Elf) Sessions brings both combatants into the center of the
playground and reads them the rules:
"I want a good dirty fight with lots of yelling, name
calling and screaming. You both can threaten each other with
restraining orders and more hidden audio tapes. No hitting
below the belt and for you Trump, no more grabbing below the
belt!" Trump sneers and spits but makes no comment.
"If either one of you get winded before this is
over...Trump, who is your second that you will call into the
sandbox for relief? Either Kellyanne Conway or Sarah
Huckabee Sanders?" Trump: "I will use Sanders, she has the
weight heft to take on Omarosa."
"For you Omarosa, who is your second?" Omarosa: "I
choose Ben Carson.
He is known to get crazy when he is cornered and called an
Uncle Tom."
At this time, both parties retreat to their respective
sand boxes. Trump puts some more orange jell in his hair
and puts on his trademark red MAGA cap. Omarosa, pulls her
fake long hair into a ponytail, removes her three-inch false
eye lashes and five-inch Choi-Kaye heels.
(Back to the referee): "Ladies and gentlemen, the judges
for this five minute winner-take-all contest are: Michael
"I'll take a bullet for you!" Cohen, Wolf Blitzer from CNN
aka: The Breaking News Channel and Czyrmir Valdovynski, a
Russian billionaire oligarch (who unknown to the other
judges is paid by Putin to throw the fight to his fawning
puppet, Trump)."
The time keeper is Paul Ryan (aka: Gomer Pyle) and his
tongue-tied understudy and partner, Mitch McConnell (aka:
Tommy the Turtle).
The bell rings and the mud pie throwers warily come at each
other. Trump unloads his first mud pie... "You Dog!"
Omarosa deftly side steps it with her own mud pie of,
"You racist!" That pie squarely catches Trump in the gut but
he shakes it off and moves to his right.
Out of nowhere, the President sends a haymaker mud pie of,
"There were good people on both sides!"
Omarosa sees it coming and bats it away with her mud
pie of, "I was forced out of the White House!"
Wolf Blitzer starts to cheer her spunk but is told by the
referee to cool it!
Trump looks to his left and spots Michael Cohen
signaling Trump to use both hands and throw a big pie! Trump
smiles and picks up a hefty pie with both hands and heaves
it at Omarosa, "You are a crazed lowlife!"
Omarosa staggers for a moment due to the weight of pie
coming from Trump who taught her all of his tricks about
conning the public during their time together on The
Apprentice television reality program.
Omarosa quickly recovers and feints a move to her left
and slings a thin mud pie at the head of Trump, "You are a
bigot!"
The pie falls harmlessly against Trump's shoulder and
he laughs and says, "So what!"
The banned oligarch is now frantically on his phone calling
Putin for instructions since Trump has not yet ended this
mud pie battle.
The word reaching back to the judges is that Putin is
telling Trump to end it fast or he will reveal some damaging
Wikileaks emails and risqué pictures about certain hijinks
involving Trump and some very nubile Russian girls.
Upon hearing that threat, Trump starts to break out in
a sweat and cobbles together a bomb of a mud pie that he
calls, "Fire And Fury!" He sees an opening when Omarosa dips
down to put some pebbles in her next mud pie called,
"Democrats Winning the Mid Terms."
Both mud pies collide with each other and fall
harmlessly to the ground; and now both sweating combatants
again retreat to reload.
Omarosa takes aim with a heavy pie called, "Putin's
Puppet!" and slowly walks towards Trump to insure that it
hits its target. Trump sees the ploy and arms himself with
not one but two pies called, "A wacko" and the "'N' word!"
Omarosa sees what is about to come. She grins to
herself and quickly turns around and under her coat, takes
out her best mud pie ever called, "Impeachment!"
Both parties are about 15 feet from each other and their mud
pies are poised for launch.
The wacko pie launches first and hits Omarosa on her
shoulder. The 'N' word pie is flung and Omarosa is able to
kick at it in mid flight and it falls near the feet of
Trump.
Trump now panics for he sees that the mud pie,
Impeachment, is still able to be used and Omarosa is
narrowing her eyes at it and she smells victory.
But all of a sudden, both McConnell and Ryan, as if on
cue, bolt to the center of the stage and grab the
Impeachment pie out of the hands of a surprised Omarosa and
throw it near the feet of a tall bystander who is watching
all of this drama but with no expression on his face.
To the astonishment of all, the quiet interloper, with
plastic gloves, deftly picks up the squishy mud disc and
quickly leaves the playground.
His name, we later learn is, Robert Mueller.
Contact Lafe Tolliver at
tolliver@juno.com
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