|
In the days to come, the
twin girls were put into foster care and later adopted by a
woman who took them in as her own children. The twins
entered grade school and would often share, at appropriate
times, their memories of their mother’s death. In reality,
they used their story for empathy and, at times, it seemed
as if they used it as a shock value. I spent the remainder
of my elementary grade school years thinking about their
horrible experience and often listening to their story of
how their mother ended her life in such a tragic and
shocking way.
There are many reasons why
people decide to take their own lives. There are many
decisions they make when and how For those of us left
behind, we will never know precisely the reasons why. Even
with great efforts we will never understand why they hurt
us.
Lately, in the news there
have been several celebrity suicide deaths. We scratch our
heads as if to say why would they want to die? They have
money, fortune, fame. Everything they want they can have
right? Like you, I assume the answer is wrong because
something is obviously missing in their lives that does not
allow them to escape the unfortunate pains of life.
I have helped many clients in my many years as a counselor
who have either wanted to take their lives or need help
getting through the reasons why other family members have
taken their own lives. Honestly, there is no answer yet but
there is a genetically-linked trait that
on twins that shows suicidal
behavior is between 30 and 50 percent due to heritable
factors. Suicide victims' biological relatives who were
adopted away also show an increased risk of suicide.
The rate of suicide in America is 10.9 suicide deaths per 100,000
people, according to the latest information from the
National Institute of Mental Health. That means, although
the likelihood of suicidal behavior increases in families, a
completed suicide is still a rare event. According to the
Washington Post 2018, suicide rates for black children are
twice that of white children. Suicide is one of the leading
causes of death for older children and teens in the United
States.
So how do we know if a loved one is at risk for suicide? Most of
the time we don’t but there are certain signs we can look
for such as those we know becoming withdrawn, tying up loose
ends and settling debts and having investigated or discussed
suicide methods.
During an assessment with clients, it is our norm to ask clients if
they ever felt suicidal or homicidal in their lifetime and,
if so, do they have a plan? Have they ever attempted suicide
in the past?
Will we be given the most honest answer? Probably not, but it is
in the trained counselor’s eye and instinct that their
behaviors be looked upon as such. Then we keep a close eye
and provide the client and parents if necessary with suicide
information such as resources and available apps for their
phone.
Many colleges are equipped with suicide apps for students as they
arrive in their new surroundings, but these apps can be used
by any individuals who need help. Some apps are: Jason
Foundation A Friend Asks, MY3, Ask and Prevent Suicide,
Suicide Crisis Support, Stay Alive and Operation Outreach.
If you know anyone who is showing signs of suicide or threaten
suicide, do not take it lightly – call 911 and report it.
Lastly, keep an open line of communication with those you
love and care for. Ultimately, if an individual takes his
own life, there is no one to blame and there is virtually
nothing anyone could or should have done that could have
spared that life.
If you have a loved one you have lost to a suicide, please don’t
blame yourself. Seek out counseling to begin to understand
human nature and never give up.
“Death is life’s way of
telling you you’re fired. Suicide is your way of telling
life you quit.” Anonymous
Bernadette Graham is a Licensed Professional Counselor,
National Certified Counselor and Certified Grief Recovery
Specialist. You may contact her for questions or resources
at graham.bernadette@gmail.com
|
