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Etiquette in the 21st Century: Because Manners
Matter
By Robin Reeves
Soulcial Scene Contributor
WOW, The Toledo
Soulcial Scene has been on the move! The conversations
around town and around the world seems to be about
behaviors, inclusion, diversity and equality. Non-profit
organizations, government, education, for-profit, and others
seem to be interested in bridging the gap between where we
are as a society and where we need to be.
There seems to
be real talk about these issues. Is it now the time to do
what’s right and address how to move beyond making more
policies to turning the policies into action? I would say
yes. That’s one fascinating fact about etiquette, it takes
behaviors, inclusion, diversity, and equality or what I call
B.I.D.E. and turn them into action.
What does
B.I.D.E have to do with etiquette you ask? Everything!
Social etiquette enhances the social studies we learn as
children in grades K-12. Social studies classes such as
history, government, geography and economics address B.I.D.E
from a societal perspective.
Social studies
are part of the development of social competence that gives
children the
ability to
regulate emotions, give them knowledge and experience of
social interactions, and the understanding of social
situations and customs.
I had great
teachers in K-12, my favorite teacher was Mrs. Reeves, my
mother. She made it very clear how I was to behave at school
or wherever we were. She would tell me “don’t embarrass me”
or “act like you have some sense,” these were two of the
best social studies lessons that turned into social
etiquette.
As an adult, I
quickly realized that what my mother taught me did not only
benefit her but also myself as well and all the people I
come in contact with. I’m I perfect? No, but conviction
tells me when I need to make things right.
Social etiquette
has nothing to do with how many friends you have, the number
of clubs or organizations we belong to, the number of
parties we can attend, or the positions we hold. The act of
being social begins with setting positive individual goals
that have a positive outcome in society. Social etiquette
challenge use to move out of our comfort zone to build
positive relationships and the ability to problem solve in a
civil manner. Let’s take a look at a few tips that can help
us to address the B.I.D.E issues in Toledo and our country
by using social etiquette.
Social
etiquette behavior tips:
A rather simple
but accurate definition of behavior is the way in which one
acts or conducts oneself especially towards others. Even
when we don’t think others are affected by our behavior
because they continue to smile and remain cordial does not
mean that your behavior is not offensive or creating a
distraction.
Tip 1) Identify
what triggers you to act the way you do. Example: When you
are in a situation where you do not know anyone in the room
and that makes you feel uncomfortable which triggers you to
be quiet and avoid conversation and, ultimately, prevents
you from reaching your individual and social goals.
Tip 2) Plan
something positive, encouraging, inspiring and appreciative
to say.
Tip 3) Make a
connection with the host and/or the person who invited you.
Tip 4) Avoid
announcing that you are shy or that you just don’t have
anything to say or I only came because my friend invited me.
Tip 5)Put to use
the information you gathered about the event before you
arrived.
Social
etiquette inclusion tips
While some
individuals, companies, clubs, government, churches and
others want to be inclusive, it is still difficult to
implement in some cases. Here are a few tips that can help:
Tip 1) Identify
what’s stopping you from being inclusive. Remember, social
studies give us knowledge and experience of social
interaction that will increase your willingness to be more
inclusive.
Tip 2) Avoid
using inclusion as your primary plan to increase your
financial goals,
Tip 3) Focus on
building relationships (see behavior tips) so that all
involved will experience a healthy win-win relationship.
Tip 4) Be open
to thought processes that don’t look like yours but add
value to the end result.
Social
etiquette diversity tips:
Dictionary.com
defines diversity as the inclusion of individuals
representing more than one national origin, color, religion,
socioeconomic stratum, sexual orientation, etc... a point of
difference.
Tip 1) Avoid
stereotyping,
Tip 2) Eliminate
cultural silos,
Tip 3) Seek out
opportunities to add diversity.
Tip 4) If you
have good instincts, try using them instead of conforming
with the status quo. Pastor TD Jakes wrote in his book
Instinct; The Power to Unleash Your Inborn Drive: “A new
logo is nice, a new brand is wonderful, but if the old
culture persists, you are destined for self-sabotage.”
Social
etiquette equality tips:
Here are
three tips for how you can influence equality with social
etiquette:
Tip 1)
Protect and exercise your right to vote.
Tip 2) Treat
all people the way you would like to be treated,
Tip 3) Set
individual goals to break down barriers to equality in your
personal, professional, and social life. You can start by
not showing partiality toward your coworkers, by greeting
your coworkers equally, by avoiding speaking to only your
work friends, or by not being more tolerant toward certain
friends or family member than others.
Words are
great but I challenge you to take action...will you show
civility toward all people, do you respect differences, do
you build new and positive relationships?
I will close
with a quote from President Nelson Mandela, “ We must use
time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe
to do right”
If you would
like more information about our upcoming Teen Social
Etiquette Class on November 14 visit us at
www.reevesetiquette.com
and contact us with your information and we will respond to
you.
Because Manners Matter! |
