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Thank Jack For His Services, But…
(ANNN)
This just in from the All Negro News
Network aka: ANNN:
Our Motto: When it is news about Negroes, read it first at
ANNN!
Dear Reader:
As you can discern from the below recently released
press release, Jack Ford has been unceremoniously dumped
from power in the local Democratic Party.
As you may know, Jack Ford tried to back door the political
process by trying to run as an independent against Edna
Brown for her state senate seat.
However, Jack Ford voted recently as a Democrat and
thereafter was trying to flip the script and run as an
independent.
Did Jack ever hear the phrase, “you can’t have your cake
and eat it too!”
Jack played ignorant by trying to smooth talk himself out of
this jam by stating, with a straight face that he did not
know that he was voting the Democratic ticket the last time
he cast his ballot and/or that he thought he was voting
issues only and which allows you to be recognized as an
independent.
Nice try Jack…but no cigar!
As a journalist whose only concern is for the reader to be
well informed of events that affect their lives, I took the
bold and unusual step of contacting Jack Ford for some
comments regarding this 4-0 vote against him being on the
upcoming ballot.
Here is a portion of that telephone interview:
ANNN:
Jack, this is ANNN
reporter, Lafe Tolliver. Can I ask you a few questions about
your response to the recent vote of the Democratic Party to
not allow your name to appear on the upcoming ballot for the
state senate slot?
JACK: Yeah, go ahead. What can I tell you that is not news
already?
ANNN:
What made you think that
you could vote Democratic in the past election but run as an
Independent in the fall elections?
JACK: I did not expect that the party would turn on me this
way. Normally no one monitors such matters so closely. I was
singled out. Someone was following the rules and they wanted
to make an example of me! How dare they!
ANNN:
Jack, as a law school
graduate, how did you figure that you could get pass reading
the ballot as being approved for an independent when it was
a straight Democratic Party ticket that you voted on and you
did not vote issues only?
JACK (long pause due to loud cries and weeping coming from
someone else in the background at Jack’s house): Hey, it was
a harmless error. All that I have done for this city and
northwest Ohio and this is the thanks I get!
ANNN:
(still unable to hear what Jack is saying due to other voice
in background weeping uncontrollably and with loud groans of
sadness): Jack, in light of this vote, will you support the
Democratic endorsed candidacy of Edna Brown?
JACK: (mumbles something about, yeah, sure...why not). (to
the other wailing voice in the background, Jack tells them
to chill out because he is on the phone).
ANNN:
Jack, what are your political plans for the future?
JACK: (again, it is hard to hear due to the ear grating
sounds of a man acutely in distress and loudly weeping near
the phone): I dunno. I will meet with Carty and he will
guide me and tell me what is my best course of action.
Without Carty, I would be totally lost!
ANNN:
Well Jack, thanks for your time. By the way, who is that
poor creature who is crying their eyes out in the
background? I could hardly hear you on the phone:
JACK: Oh. That is Keith Burris, the Toledo Blade columnist.
(in the background, before I say goodbye, I hear Keith yell,
“Oh, the debt of love and gratitude that we owe Jack. It can
never be repaid!).
End of call.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
To: All Media Outlets in NW Ohio and Jack Ford supporters
From: Lafe Tolliver
Re: Jack Ford
Date: 8/22/2014
In a stunning 4-0 vote, the local Democratic Party
dealt a severe political blow to the political fortunes of
perennial political office runner, Jack Ford.
The swift vote was a thorough renunciation of the
political machinations of Jack Ford as he tried to feebly
explain his way back into the good graces of the local party
machine.
Using cumbersome language stating that either he did
not know he was voting a Democratic Party ticket or that he
thought he was voting only on issues thus allowing him to
vote Independent, the local party bosses, in a mere matter
of ten minutes, rejected out of hand that political
gibberish.
Now, the voices of the lumpenproletariat have been heard
and it is a glorious sound indeed!
The local Democratic Party has once and for all stepped
out of the glooming shadow of Jack Ford and they are paving
a wondrous path for new politicos to follow on.
A thoroughly dejected Jack Ford indicated that he may
file an appeal with the local court of appeals or with the
Ohio Supreme Court.
The party minions who follow the voice of Jack Ford
were also soundly defeated.
One particular Jack Ford loyalist, Keith Burris, was so
sorely distraught at this
Jaw-dropping loss by his political leader that it is
reported that he was involuntarily placed on calming
medications and was sent to a rest and recover resort in
Northern Michigan for an extended stay. Such was the impact
of this loss on this ardent supporter of Jack Ford.
In spite of the many adulatory and fawning columns
written by Keith Burris in support of Superman Jack Ford,
the common man in the street said no to Jack and the local
Democratic Party took up their courageous call and collared
the political aspirations of Jack Ford.
May this be the start of the glorious revolution in
Lucas County in which the people take back control of their
political parties and man the doors so that similar Jack
Ford
types will get the bum’s rush and not allowed to primp and
prance around as if they personally own and operate the
political machinery.
Power to the people! No one is above the Party!
End of press release
Contact Lafe Tolliver at
Tolliver@Juno.com |
