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The transgressing of the social bounds of decency seems to
be a fairly common occurrence these days.
However, the recent resignation of an Ohio State legislator,
having been caught driving drunk in Indiana with Viagra in
his system and a stripper in his car, certainly doesn’t
indicate a Republican party monopoly on scandal or
immorality.
Yet I am angry. And my anger is tinged somewhat with “envy.”
Please, allow me to explain.
My indignation comes from the arrogance of conservative
Christians and politicians, who, although they have marriage
problems like everyone else, act as though they have a
monopoly on recognizing the need for family values and
stronger families.
My “righteous” jealousy exists because the conservative cry,
although used primarily as a political strategy, is louder,
more consistent and more passionate than progressive voices
or those of black community and faith leaders.
The recent economic crisis has uncovered a multitude of
national and individual sins including greed, selfishness
and an evil “I got mine and too bad you didn’t get yours”
spirit of individualism. Notwithstanding, no “falling short
of the mark” has wreaked more visible destruction and
negative consequences in the black community than the lack
of healthy and effective parenting.
An abundance of research indicates that children who are
raised in homes where the parents never married or became
divorced early on are less likely to succeed than those
raised by their wedded biological parents.
Children from single parent households are more likely to
live in poverty, have behavioral or substance abuse
problems, engage in risky sexual and other behaviors, and
end up in the juvenile or prison system. They are also 50
times more likely to be abused than children in two-parent
households and perform worse academically.
Despite the negative implications for our children and
adults in the community, the status of black families and
marriages continues to decline. The latest data shows a drop
in black marriage from 64 percent of those aged 20 to 54 in
1970, to 39 percent in 2008. While during the same period,
the number of births to single mothers jumped from 38
percent to 71 percent.
Indeed, the issue of black marriage and family in America is
more comprehensive and has a complexity that many,
flippantly sermonize and pontificate upon from a soapbox of
ignorance.
Nevertheless, there are formidable social and economic
barriers to marriage including the lack of educational and
employment opportunities. Some dads are deadbeat only
because they are dead broke.
Other factors such as higher mortality rates and lower life
expectancy among African-American males and a scarcity of
marriageable young men due to an imbalanced gender ratio or
the high black prison population also present challenges to
black family structure.
Yet family, particularly extended family, is a core value -
not taught to the black community by others, but brought
here to America from Africa along with the arrival of the
first slaves.
The black church, now grown silent, has historically been a
part of a network of extended families and through its
preaching and teaching kept families and the community
connected to one other.
Along with other black community institutions, the church
provided young people with, not only a necessary moral and
spiritual dimension, but also important (supervised) social
occasions to meet and interact.
The community also provided a space for empowerment, where
youth were affirmed and accepted and could develop their
skills in public speaking, music, art and other efforts.
Also there were opportunities in community for young people
to meet and observe role models in order to emulate and
acquire positive qualities or be able to critique the double
standards of adult behavior in a safe environment.
Family strength and values belong to us, but we seem to have
forgotten it along with our history.
However, with crime and social dysfunction holding a
besieged black community hostage, a revolution of values
appears to be the only way out.
For too long we have dealt with issues affecting the black
community from a “deficit perspective, emphasizing the
problems and pathology.” The time has now come to shift from
the “shock and awe” methodology of ideological and political
warfare to a solution-oriented modus operandi.
The prevalent myth is that black people do not marry or
desire marriage. In reality, many do not know how to
overcome the difficulties in getting there or sustaining
marriage.
The relevant question thus becomes: How can family strength
be rediscovered and a revolution of family values take
place?
The good news is that there is an abundance of
exemplars or models of excellence right in our own
community. In the coming weeks I hope to gain insights and
solutions from them that will overthrow the status quo.
“The revolution will not be televised, will not be
televised, will not be televised.
The revolution will be no re-run brothers; The revolution
will be all the way live.”
R.I.P. Gil Scott-Heron 1949-2011
Contact Rev. Donald
Perryman, D.Min, at
drdlperryman@centerofhopebaptist.org
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